Life Hacks: Insecurity (Part 2)

Insecurity

The Lord has put it in my heart to share exactly how I feel right now on this topic. The truth is, I have spent the last week feeling insecure. Feeling as though I am just not good enough, not clever enough, not attractive enough, not talented enough, not righteous enough. I have been comparing myself to other people. People with different gifts and abilities and wondering, “Why can't I do that? Why don’t I look like that?”

Insecurity is the only reason myself and my partner have had disagreements up to now. It is the root of what makes me feel like I may as well just quit because 'nobody likes me anyway'. It makes me feel sick to my stomach and goes as far as giving me headaches, affecting my sleep and it exhausts me! The truth is, I know I will never be like other women, never be exactly the same as the next person in their abilities. The maddest thing is, on a normal day, this is one of the things that I am amazed at God for. It is incredible to know that God took time to handcraft us. He took time carefully planning how we look and what our personalities are like and what our talents are. This is an amazing thing. So why is it that when I feel insecure, I don't like it?

Insecurity has played a part in my whole life up to now. It's the devil's way of making me feel like I can't succeed and won't be loved and will not be good enough. It's the voice that says that I am fat and my body is unattractive and my teeth aren't white enough, all of those shallow, unproductive, pointless thoughts. Those thoughts do NOTHING and go against EVERYTHING that God tells us.

When I am spending time with The Lord, working on my destiny, loving life, the devil is shaking in his boots because he knows that something is happening (This is the same devil, remember, that wants us all sick, in debt, depressed and never knowing or fulfilling God's almighty plans for us.) These times are the devil's favourite opportunities for him to pop in those poisonous, pointless thoughts. The problem is, in my weakness, in my flesh and in my mind, I have allowed these thoughts to grow and hatch. This is exactly what the devil wants! This is where he can then sneak in a little bit of guilt about how you may have treated the people around you in your insecurity. A little bit of anxiety about what someone is thinking when they look at you. A little bit of jealousy when you are confronted with someone that is ‘perfect’ in areas that do not see in yourself.

The Good News in this whole situation, is that the devil has already lost the battle! Jesus overcame everything when He died on the cross and rose again. He took away all of those disgusting tricks that the devil plays. So we are saved! We have the amazing gift of freedom in our spirit when we accept Jesus Christ. We just have to believe it and allow it to manifest in our mind and body.

Just writing that down brings a feeling of peace in my mind and heart. That is exactly what happens when you take your mind off of the flesh and focus your vision back on The Lord. It is only through your belief in The Lord that you will see a change in your behaviour. I have got to a stage of being so fed up, whinging and feeling sorry for myself today. Because I rely on The Lord and believe He is always there for me, my mind has eventually reverted back to Him, to the One that fixes everything. I sat on the train and thought about how God is my everything. He is the only One that will always make me feel better, His Word is always the right Word. His Grace is always the thing that sets me free. His Patience is the thing that helps me snap out of these moods as I remind myself of just how much The Lord puts up with. I am so thankful that He does not tally up my wrongs and He never gets disappointed in me.

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

This is why it is so important and necessary to read God’s Word. I have had so many people say to me, “Why do you read The Bible?” “Don't you find it boring?” “Isn't it a bit dated?” Well, I find it hard to keep my heart from jumping out of my throat because The Word of God is my life instruction manual. If I feel rubbish or need help with ANY situation I will ALWAYS find an answer in God's Word. It is always helpful and brings nothing but revelations, comfort, wisdom and understanding. No matter what the issue, God has already given us the solution!

Philippians 4:6-9 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is praiseworthy, think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, put it into practice. And The God of peace will be with you.

Now this particular scripture (Philippians 4:6-9) gives us instructions on what to do when we are feeling worried about our appearance, abilities, debt or situations. We just need to turn to Him, have fellowship with Him, tell Him our problems (Not that He needs us to pray as He knows our needs before we figure out what they are and is already making a way.) and thank Him for what He has already done to help us and also our daily blessings. Then God will provide the solution; He will fill our hearts with peace. He asks us to look to things that we think are beautiful, kind, caring, things that bring us joy and that inspire us. Focus on the amazing things that have happened and are happening in our lives and our loved ones' lives.

So, that’s what I have done. I can tell you that right now, I feel so much better! I no longer feel sorry for myself or insecure. Instead I feel peaceful in my mind, excited in my soul and grateful to God! I feel thankful that God has made me unique. I may not have the same gifts as other women but God has given me my own. These are all that matter to MY destiny, though I should still be able to appreciate other people's gifts as they are given from God for their unique journey. I thank God for using this glitch in my behaviour and trust and lifting me up to a place where I feel good about myself. He knows us by name. He knows our hearts. Nothing is hidden from Him. He knows exactly what to do to bring you out of your mess, if you will let Him. Remember, God gives us free will and He will not force anything on us. We have to allow His help.

So let's look at what I did to feel this refreshing feeling. I sat and acknowledged my behaviour in my mind. I then thought about how glad I am that my Father, My Lord, is there for me. I then spent time praying to The Lord, thanking Him for being there, thanking Him for all the things I have taken for granted this last week. Apologising and recognising my wrongs and thanking Him again for His Grace, Love and eternal Presence in my life. I looked at some scriptures and quotes that made me smile, that reminded me of The Lord and how He is there for me, making a way. I soon felt the desire to write down my experience. I have been listening to worship songs the whole duration of my time writing this. My favourite song tonight has been ‘Good Good Father- Housefires ll- Featuring Pat Barrett’. The Lord is such a good Father and He really cares for our needs. This song reminds me of how personal my relationship is with God.

Psalm 139:14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

When I think in this way, it actually makes me feel a little sad to think of how I can dislike myself when God feels that I am worthy and righteous and fit to serve Him. I look at people on the train in the morning and can tell they are insecure by their body language. I just want to kneel next to them and tell them how beautiful they are and what God really thinks of them. So why do I give myself such a hard time? Why do you feel so bad about yourself when God is saying, “I am pleased with you.” God does not care how messed up you think you are or how ugly you think you are. He thinks you are perfect, because He made you. So let's thank God right now, you can read this aloud:

Thank You Father God for taking Your time to decorate me.

Thank You for my gifts and talents.

Thank You for giving me vision and inspiration and the ability to hope and dream.

Lord, I know the plans You have for me are far more amazing than my mind could ever fathom. Lord, use my changed spirit to guide me.

I open my ears to Your instruction and my eyes to Your vision.

I believe that You give me strength to overcome.

So I am saying right now, that from this day forth I am not going to allow the devil to tempt me into insecure, negative, pointless thoughts or feelings/

He has no place in my mind and no power over me because he is already defeated.

I wear the armour of God and have the same strength, faith and authority as Jesus Christ, inside of me.

I thank you Lord for Your endless Grace and love. Thank You for knowing exactly how to make me feel better. You are amazing and You never fail to show me what You think of me.

To conclude, you are wonderfully and fearfully made by God, your loving Father. God has an amazing plan for you and with His guidance, you can overcome every obstacle and succeed in your destiny. It is not by YOUR works, but by God’s grace that you are saved. God’s grace covers a multitude of sins and behaviours. So let's behave as we ought to as children of God. Let's not listen to what the enemy says but what our Creator says. He says that you can overcome these obstacles.

Jesus is bigger than anything the devil attempts. Be strong, remember who you are in Christ and you (and I) CAN live a life on this earth free from being tormented by the devil.

1 John 4:4 Little Children, you are from God and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.