Laura's Latest: The Need for Integrity

At the end of February 2016, during quiet time with The Lord, I was asking about how I can tackle my silly remaining habits for good. I’ve got past the ‘Big Things’ like the smoking, the depression, the OCD, the medication and the self harming. It's things like the irritation and the temporary lusts for worldly things, the bad language and inappropriate comments that really don't scream JESUS, that have been difficult for me to nip in the bud.

As I explained in my ‘Clearing out’ Video, over this last 18 months I have been doing some tidying in my body/soul ‘wardrobe' and have thrown away some of the old moth balls that have been stinking it out. After all, I now have the most beautiful Spirit inside and I want my whole ‘wardrobe' to represent, compliment and promote its strength, authority, love, compassion, wisdom, happiness and peace! I had some shoes in there that once looked great but now give me blisters. There were some clothes in there that are bang on trend, everyone else is wearing them, but when I put them on I look like a 10 year old boy and they feel really uncomfortable. That may sound bad, getting rid of all that stuff but what makes it all worth while, is that I have been given the equivalent to ALL the designer clothes, shoes and jewellery I could ever dream of, placed in my ‘wardobe,’ freely given by God. All I have to do is open the wardrobe, take them off the hangers, put them on and rock that runway honey! Lol.

This is what God wants for our lives. Jesus died on the cross as a sacrifice and rose again on the third day so that we could be free from sin, sickness, poverty, depression, addiction and every other bondage that the devil desires for our lives. When you accept and confess Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, are baptised in the Holy Spirit and enter into a relationship with The Lord, you will see changes in your life. Changes that you never thought could happen. This is a ‘given’ if you believe in Him and believe in His Word. This is what happened with me and I am just loving it!

So… during my conversation with The Lord, His answer to my, “How do I stop doing these things?” was, “Start as you mean to go on.”

I have heard this phrase before but never use it and if I am honest, at that time I think I placed it somewhere in the back of my mind and forgot about it. I then faced some temptation from the enemy which I gave into. These particular temptations were to feel irritated, angry, jealous and insecure. Things that ruled me before I got to know God but have been things I have battled with and learnt how to control.

Unfortunately as a human and one that is on a journey, I am not perfect. I have been weak. I have given in for a short time and have allowed the enemy to get the best of me, through people and situation but PRAISE GOD, because He does not tally up these stumbles and falls. He is so gracious. What He does do, is offer help. We do have free will and we do need to allow His help. So, knowing I had been silly and allowed the enemy to get the better of me, I spoke to My Gracious Father and apologised, I thanked Him for loving me no matter what and I asked Him to give me advice.

I basically said that I need to learn how to not let my emotions get the better of me. I do not want to feel irritated, jealous or insecure. I do not want to be quick to anger, I want to be more like Jesus. I want to behave in a peaceful, full of joy, quick to listen and slow to anger manner. All the time. No matter what someone says or does to me, no matter what the circumstances say, no matter what the time of the month says I should feel like. I do not want my hormones to rule me. I don't want whats happening in my body to take charge of how I react just because it is a Monday at 05:00am! I want to only be moved by what The Word says. The Word says that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I say this all the time but it applies to life in so many ways. It makes things easier to grasp. I know 100% I can’t do these things. I have tried without Him and failed miserably but with Christ I can.

During my conversation with The Father, He said again, “Start as you mean to go on.”

I remembered He had said this a week previously so I typed it into google to get some understanding of what the quote actually means.

I read that it derived from Charles Haddon Spurgeon, a British Preacher in the 1800’s, known as “The prince of preachers.” He said, “Begin as you mean to go on, and go on as you began, and let The Lord be all in all to you.”

I then read up on how people interpret this saying and my favourite one was this, “ To begin doing something in a way that one intends to continue doing it. To set a consistent pattern of behaviour right from the start.” http://www.englishforums.com/English/StartAsWeMeanToGoOn/jwcll/post.htm

I was so excited and was thanking God that He gave me an answer to how I will overcome these stumbles. I went onto my Facebook and one of the first things on my timeline was a post by Terri Saville Foy saying, “The only way you will see results is if you stay consistent.” She commented below saying, “It may not be that you are doing the wrong thing, you’re just not doing it LONG enough to see change.” Well, if thats not confirmation I don't know what is. Praise God! That gave me the kick up the bum and the reassurance I needed to get motivated.

Upon reflection, I realised I had got into a great routine, waking up in the morning, doing my declarations, listening to worship music on my train to work or at home, speaking to God throughout the day, watching a sermon online or reading some scriptures during the evening. This time away on holiday I had started my week doing these things but by midweek I was lying in, skipping the declarations, listening to secular music on the radio and I didn't spend anytime with The Lord other than the odd, “Praise God” and “Thank you Jesus” before meals!

I had totally abandoned what I normally do to prevent me from feeling these things, the routine that works for ME, not necessarily for everyone else. Somedays I don't do all of them, I will do something else, I switch it up. The point is, doing these things keeps my eyes on The Lord and I ENJOY them. During the week away when I was tempted frequently, I believe I struggled because my eyes were not on The Lord. I had withdrawn from Him temporarily. He hadn't left me, but I hadn’t spoken to Him or enjoyed fellowship with Him, thanked or listened to Him. I hadn't learnt anything or been encouraged by Him because my eyes and ears were shut to Him for that period.

That Is not consistent behaviour. That is not starting as I mean to go on. It is the same as me going on a diet and saying, “Right! I am going to get healthy, get fit, lose weight, tone up and feel better about myself. That is really beneficial to me, in so many areas of life. To do these things though, I need to make some lifestyle changes. I need to cut out the rubbish food, start eating and drinking healthier. I need to exercise and educate myself by watching videos, going to the gym or classes to learn about how to target the areas I am wibbly wobbly in.”

So let’s say, several months into this new lifestyle, I've lost weight, feeling great, transformed, six pack and everything! I go on holiday and carry on the diet for a few days, then midweek I start skipping my morning jog, don't drink two litres of water, have a fry up instead of my porridge, skip the motivational youtube video and binge in the evening. Yes ok, we can have cheat days! We’re allowed! But now you have tasted the cakes, you’re tempted to have the triple Chocolate Brownie! The more days you do that, the easier it is to be tempted and the easier it is to slip up. Before you know where your new chins came from, you have put your weight back on, your skin’s broken out and you FEEL you have taken ten steps back.

This is what happens with us when we take our eyes off The Lord. I do not have to do ANYTHING to make God love me, His love is unconditional, but I keep my eyes on Him to remember that. When you’re all caught up in what the world is saying, it is an opportunity for the enemy to try you on your previous weaknesses. He may give you a little situation that used to always make you feel vulnerable, things that would make you feel ugly, lonely or useless. When I take my eyes off God, I can forget how loved I am by Him, how much strength I have through Him, how much authority I have from Him.

So with my advice from The Lord, I started to look at scriptures about integrity. People in The Bible that were consistent. I am highly favoured, so of course, my Pastor began preaching on David, a man after God’s own heart. David is known for his faithfulness, his meekness, boldness and his integrity. I did say to Ben, my pastor, that I'm sure He's been texting Jesus again!

When you ask God to help you with something, He never fails. He will surround you with things and people that will support you and educate you on what you need to know. You just have to ask and be willing to learn.

So, we are learning about David; we had recently heard about Joseph. Both of these men are known for their consistency in their faithfulness to God and faithfulness in serving people, despite their situations. David had a terrible childhood. He was hated and cast out by his brothers, left to shepherd the sheep, constantly undermined and made out to be nothing. Joseph was also hated by his brothers, thrown into a pit, sold to the Israelites, made a slave and a prisoner but both went on to do what God called them to do. They didn't let their circumstances change what God had planned for them. They continued to serve people with excellence, praise God through the storms, trusting in The Lord and His promises.

I have been so blessed educating myself on these ‘fellow humans’ that have done what I aspire to do. In situations where you need to change or renew your mind, you need to seek God, communicate with Him, be led by the Holy Spirit, read The Word, listen to and seek wisdom and surround yourself with healthy, God-loving, strong-in-faith people who will encourage you and uplift you. This is, to me, so important and how I intend to continue to press on in this great journey!

You are so loved by God and He is pleased with you. He is there for you and is holding out His hand right now, ready to guide you in your next steps. Speak to Him, listen to Him and trust Him. Embrace all that He has for you and get ready for the awesomeness that He has been so desperate for you to enjoy!